7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess-Chapter 2 Day 5

Day 5 -

I'm struggling today.  I learned today via KTIS radio that today is affectionately known as Blue Monday.  That it is! I even donned my Husky Blue sweatshirt for the occasion.  Not that I really donned it.  I must confess I wore it bed, got up & never changed out of it.  Yep!  I did!  Umm....after all, I certainly wasn't going to select a pair of Pajamas as part of my 7.  If you are my friend, I hope you aren't too repulsed by this.

But, back to Blue Monday, it started when Preston was in tears about having to go back to school.  He was going to miss being at home...all of us together as one little tribe!  It broke my heart seeing him so upset about returning to school.

I offered to drive all my babies to school.  Preston wanted to ride the bus.  To see friends he wouldn't otherwise see during his day.  Braeden and Laken gladly accepted a ride.  I loaded everyone up. I first dropped off Braeden and then, Laken.  As Laken stepped out of the van and into school, I lost it.  Tears welled up.  You see not only was I going to miss my babies, but I was on hold with the clinic trying to schedule an appointment for Laken to be seen.

She had discovered a lump on her neck that intermittently was causing her pain.  She first noticed it the Friday after Christmas, but didn't bring it to our attention until over the weekend.  Of course my mind raced to all the awful things it could be.  I stopped of short of googling it, because googling an ailment does nobody any good.

I actually talked to her Family Doctor who tried to reassure me that she was seeing a lot of viral stuff with the same symptoms.  "It's probably nothing to worry about," she said.  But, my mind wandered, as it likes to do.  How many other parents on THIS DAY will find their "probably nothings" turn into "somethings"?  I thought about my 7 articles of clothing and how I would gladly trade all 7 for burlap sacks if it meant my children would not have to endure a "something."  It reminded me of the story of Abraham and Isaac.  I mean can you even imagine being told you need to sacrifice you son?

It took me back to the day my friend Susan called to tell me, "It's Cancer."  And another phone call I received from her (around this time of year) in which she uttered the words, "It's back."  A "something" that had my, then, 7 year old crying out in agonizing pain in the middle of Michaelson Funeral Home over the loss of his dear friend, Tyler James.  Raw and emotional memories forever etched in our minds.

I soul searched all day.  What really is important to me?  I had listened to an audiobook called The Me I want to Be by John Ortberg and I was taken back to a passage he had wrote about not wanting to miss "The Dance" that he wants to love his wife, take care of kids and give life to his friends.  Partake in the wedding, but save God the last dance.  Later, after dropping off my daughter, Clara, at preschool, John Ortberg's word were echoed in the song "Love Like Jesus" by the Rhett Walker Band. Yes, God!  I Don't want to Miss the dance.  I want to dance the dance "with fire, sing with freedom, laugh, live and love like Jesus!"

I was cleaning the kid's bathroom.  I thought about all this "stuff" we have.  All of these worldly possessions I would gladly give up to spare my children from any hardship. I thought about the countless other parents that were having the same reflections on THIS DAY, too. And, there was 1Peter 3:3-4 staring me in the face (or in this case hanging on the wall & reflecting in the mirror).  "Don't be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes.  You should clothe yourself instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God." 1Peter 3:3-4

At the clinic on this "Blue Monday" we were greeted with friendly, reassuring faces.  It turns out Laken's Doctor believes her lump to be part of a virus.  She checked over many of her other lymph nodes.  She instructed her not to touch the lump as this can cause it to swell.  If she starts running a temperature or notice it getting much larger, we are to return.  Her "Something" was indeed a "Nothing".  For that I am grateful.

It is clear God is wanting us to shed some "Stuff" to make more room for love and life and, must importantly, more of him.  We clutter our homes and ourselves with so much of this "stuff" that it is sometimes hard to hear his voice or gentle nudges toward something better.  Gentle whispers and nudges toward the best version of us!