Loving My Granny

7/21/17

Yesterday I went to visit Granny. I cried the entire way there.  I wondered out loud how the hell I would be brave & strong enough to hold it together for her!? It seemed like an insurmountable assignment. 

The little girls accompanied me on this trip.  We stopped along the way to find a little something to bring her.  I wanted to bring her Kombucha because of it's Cancer healing properties, but Hy-Vee in Rochester had none. The girls picked an array of colorful carnations & roses & a kissing heart faced emoji pillow as the items to bring. 

When we arrived my Aunt Denise greeted us at the sliding glass patio door.  We brought in our recently purchased gifts & had to try our best to explain to Granny what an emoji was. 

While we were there Brooke mostly played toys.  Clara, on the other hand, stuck close to my side.  Her sweet, sweet heart feels my pain.  Her strong intuition & her young, but wise, older soul get it.  She has a vast understanding beyond her years of what this means & why my heart aches.  She will be an amazing mom & caretaker someday.

While at the "Farm" I found myself wanting to photograph any & everything.  My feeble attempt at trying to freeze time.  But I'm learning on this journey that some things are mine to hold with an open hand rather than an Iron fist.

Granny expressed her frustration at being diagnosed with Leukemia and the lack of options for its treatment.  She feels that if she were the President or even John McCain more options would be offered. I told her we would take it one day at a time & we would all try & figure out things together.  

She gave me a picture of my Grandpa as a boy.  I knew right away it was him from his huge smile.   He was sitting in a wagon with a dog that resembled Gretzky hanging out right next to him.  She said it was taken at Frank & Etta's farm, the Old Hinckley Farm in Dover.  She, also, gave me a bunch of her favorite Costco microwaveable popcorn.

I'm not exactly sure why she felt compelled to give me these gifts, but I'm willing to guess God & my Gramps nudged her to do so.  I sign that they are both always with her.  

We talked about how God sees & knows her pain before she's even uttered a word.  That it's OK to be angry....he already know what's on her heart.  That he just wants her to lean on him & invite him to help.  He will help us navigate the hard.  We just need to ask him.

We had a hodge podge lunch of chicken salad, crackers, cheese, grapes, tortilla chips, corn casserole & cookies.  Denise & Granny laughed at the randomness of it all. After lunch, I explained to Denise my anxiety over going to Detroit for a whole entire week.  She gave me a big bear hug & told me God would be there for me.  She understands.

Later that afternoon my cousin, Alicia & Granny's Pastor Heather stopped in.  We all spent the afternoon talking about what fun adventures we could go on, yet: Pedicures, boat rides, trolley rides limos, sleepovers, shopping sprees & drives to visit important places from our past.

Granny joked about what we would say someday after she was gone about all her "things".  Denise was sure us girls would have a hay day looking through her closet.  I told her especially the shoes! (because her & I wear the same size)

We reminisced about all the vacations we have been fortunate enough to take together.  I've traveled to Out State New York, South Dakota & Maine with  her!  We laughed at Granny's travel staple of Jello being brought along on each trip.  Because in her words, "It keeps you regular & wards of diarrhea."

We chuckled about her comment of "We really aren't stopping?!", when 7 of us piled into an SUV & drove straight through to Boston.  We belly laughed about the fact we also brought along a potty chair on that trip as Braeden was deathly afraid to use the public restrooms at rest stops.  

That entire afternoon Granny was wishing all the fawns that reside in her woodlands would come by for a visit.  She apparently has 2 sets of twins & a singleton that have paid visits to her.  But,alas they didn't come.

It came time for our goodbyes & I love yous.  I asked Denise to put me on the care taking list & keep me in the loop while I was in Detroit.  I told Granny to, "Behave" while I was gone. As we were leaving Clara said, "Mom, you want to remember how this (her, her home, the land, etc) is." Oh, sweetheart more than you can imagine!

Upon beginning our journey home I instructed the girls to keep their eyes out for storm damage from the prior night's thunderstorms.  As we were rounding the corner adjacent to the quarry near Granny's road, there stood a Young Buck in the ditch.  He stared at us for a stretch, crossed the gravel road in front of us into the woods on the other side & stared some more.  A sign, a gift from God & just quite possibly my Gramps keeping watch over her. 

"He makes my feet like the feet of a deer: he enables me to stand on the heights." Psalm 18:33

💕Heidi